Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
