I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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