i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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