Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
