Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
