we have pet lesbian snakes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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