You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
