She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
