I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
