just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
