Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
