After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
