Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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