Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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