rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
