I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
