now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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