I could have mohawked her pubes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
