You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
