Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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