isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
