but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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