i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
