she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
