is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
