i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
