watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
now i know why i became what i already was.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
