too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
