Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
