the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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