I heard we made out
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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