She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
