I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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