She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
