i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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