Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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