Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
