2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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