well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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