Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
