3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
