my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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