oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
