my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Of course I have a pirate flag
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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