My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
