If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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