Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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