I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
