i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
