No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
