stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Even my vagina gasped.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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