Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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