is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
