4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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