So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
