I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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