so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
