I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
